3 Ways to Know Your Therapist is a Good Fit

You feel comfortable with them

Sharing emotions is tough, especially with someone who is a stranger at first, so its important that you feel some sort of comfortability with your therapist. Your relationship with your therapist is a huge indication of the benefit you’ll get from therapy, so you want to make sure that you feel you can be open with your therapist. Sometimes feeling comfortable is as small as someone having a warm smile or soothing voice, or it can be that they make sure to use your name when they address you so it feels more personal. Whatever that is to you, your therapist should have it for best outcomes.

You are working on goals that are important to you

Most people seek therapy because they are hoping to work on something that they see as an issue and it is important that your therapist come alongside you to work on the issue that is impacting your life. For example, if you are coming to therapy because of a relationship concern and you want to reconcile the relationship with your partner despite whatever hardships will come, but your therapist is pushing you to break off the relationship- it may be time to seek a new therapist. Another example is if you are going to therapy to help manage work stress and have decided that it is time for you to leave the job, but your therapist only wants to talk about how you can stay.  This is not to say that your therapist can’t challenge you or suggest things, but you should both be focused on the same thing if you are clear on what you want. Situations like this can fracture the trust and the relationship, and make it feel like you’re not only fighting against the issue but against your therapist.

Your therapist has knowledge or expertise on the issue you are hoping to work on

You can have the best relationship with your therapist and trust them immensely but it is important that they know how to treat whatever it is you want to work on. For instance, if I’ve been seeing a therapist that specializes in anxiety but now I want to address trauma, my current therapist may or may not know how to also treat trauma. You should always feel empowered to ask questions to ensure you are getting the best treatment. If you are seeing someone who is not well versed in whatever issue you need, you may be worse off or if nothing else be wasting time if you are getting the wrong treatment. If your therapist specializes or has worked with your issue before, you’re in the right hands and should feel excited about working with someone who can serve you best.

These are only a few indicators that your therapist is a good fit for you. As always trust your gut and make sure to talk through any concerns that you may have with your therapist. It can be hard to find a therapist that works well with you and switching therapists is tough, so keep these things in mind to help narrow things down sooner rather than later if possible. Disclaimer: It can take a few sessions to get a good feel for these things, so try not to feel pressured to know right away after one session if you have to stay or choose someone else. The good thing about therapy is that you can always make decisions that are best for you without obligation to anyone else.

I hope this helps! Let me know if there are any stand out things that have helped you in the past.